walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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