Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
