She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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