I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
