I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize