Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
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