we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
