i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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