Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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