What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
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