Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
