Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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