i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
only you would photoshop your dick
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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