Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
