Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
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