so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
