y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
