Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Randomize