who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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