Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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