he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
