I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
