I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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