well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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