Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize