I never want to see another naked old woman again.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
