so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
