i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
This baby is an asshole
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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