I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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