well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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