You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
