Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
