I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
