i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
