Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
