I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
