whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize