brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
