Need sex. Gaining weight.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
