If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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