I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
