I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
