these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
