I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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