my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
