If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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