it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
wow bdsm is so cute
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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