Where did you get a picture of my penis
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
