Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
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