Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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