u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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