@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
