your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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