i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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