my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
