I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
