I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
