So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
