Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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