I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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