Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
