Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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