I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
do nipples grow back?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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