apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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