You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
